Saturday, March 25, 2006

Pull on my dork 

Mr P-NissMr. P-Niss goes to Washington

BREAKING NEWS: Mr P-Niss to replace Ben "Box Turtle" Domenech at the Washington Post.

Unidentified "interested" sources near to the Washington Post have potentially verified Mr. P-Niss Genitalia of Pomonkey, Maryland as a replacement for deposed "Red State" blogger Ben Domenech. "The recent hire-n-fire wankoff surrounding the mooncalf Ben could not have come to a faster more satisfying climax" said Yoni Pollynussy a publicist for Mr. P-Niss.

"Mr. P-Niss is very excited about the opportunity in hand," stated Ms Pollynussy, and emphasized that Mr. P-Niss has lived in both Red States and Blue States and has infiltrated many Purplish areas of the country over the years which gives Mr. P-Niss a unique perspective on the collective vitality of the nation as a whole. Which, stressed Ms Pollynussy, should more than suffice to meet any so called journalistic requirements WaPo may have especially given their latest dip into the shifless shallow end of the blogging pool. An obvious reference to the recent controversy surrounding Mr. Domenech's brief sputtering bottle rocket trajectory across the vital media sky.

Similarly, Mr. P-Niss's foreign and domestic policy experience is extensive and includes sharing a crab platter at Fisherman's Village in Grasonville with former Prime Minister of Great Britain Margaret Thatcher (who was generous enough to share with Mr. P-Niss an excellent recipe for Hot Scarlet Tongue and Caper Sauce). Additionally, each of Neal Bush's favorite Chinese protitutes were a gift from Mr. P-Niss. Mr P-Niss has also ghost written many books and magazine articles and newspaper columns and other stuff too for many well known authors such as Christopher Buckley and James Dobson and was awarded the Pulitzer Prize in 1939 for writing Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings's classic story about a talking baby deer.

Further details of the potential agreement between Mr. P-Niss and the Washington Post will be made available as early as Monday morning March 27 or as soon as possible given contractual negotiations not yet fully underway according to senior sources reportedly familiar or not with the arrangement.

For further information and details please contact:
Jim Brady: or visit WashPostBlog.



Far out on the desert to the north dustspouts rose wobbling and augered the earth and some said they'd heard of pilgrims borne aloft like dervishes in those mindless coils to be dropped broken and bleeding upon the desert again and there perhaps to watch the thing that had destroyed them lurch onward like some drunken djinn and resolve itself once more into the elements from which it sprang. Out of that whirlwind no voice spoke and the pilgrim lying in his broken bones may cry out and in his anguish he may rage, but rage at what? And if the dried and blackened shell of him is found among the sands by travelers to come yet who can discover the engine of his ruin? ~ Cormac McCarthy Blood Meridian

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